Home After Scotland 2017

I cried my eyes out on the plane as we took off for California. It was a rainy, perfect Scottish day and I was leaving my soul behind.

Got home and unpacked, communed with all the animals, caught up with the pet sitters and volunteers at the horse rescue, then tried to get back into the swing of real life. The trip back was beyond unpleasant. Kevin is the epitome of the quintessential jerk of the highest order when traveling and the New York Airport just about had him ready for the asylum. He gets incredibly rude (not that the folks “helping” to get folks through customs were cordial and ready to assist) and then he gets belligerent. I had, LONG ago, started apologizing for his behavior. I stopped doing that in Scotland. Instead, I would wait until Kevin had left whomever he had abused verbally and state to that person, “He’s an asshole, thank you for your assistance.”

Most of the plants in my backyard have died from lack of water. Kevin got really angry and verbally aggressive a couple of years back because of the water bill (mind you, this is a man who makes over $150k/year and is a tight fisted shit). We had a single month water bill of $600 in August (The ONE year I also had a veg garden and it was prolific. I LOVED it but wasn’t allowed to put another in). I had over 30 roses at one point as well as a lot of Amaryllis and Canna lillies. Bearded Iris and all kinds of flowering things as well as water wise salvia, palm trees, sago palms, and a trumpet vine. All dead save for a few roses and some of the cannas and Amaryllis. After a few days a home, we flew out for Labor Day weekend to Austin, Texas (where Kevin and I met) for the International Beard and Mustache Championships (we had gone to one of these in 2007 in Brighton, England with the American Beard and Mustache team!). WHAT A FUCKING NIGHTMARE. Getting up and driving to the airport was absolute silence in the car. So unpleasant. We had to park the car in short term parking and since Kevin FAILED to make a reservation (I wanted to but he gaslighted me into not making one because HE said it wasn’t necessary), they were full. We had to go search for another place and now time was getting short to make it to the plane in time to get through security and such. Found a place and Kevin spent the entire time making up stories about how stupid the attendant was and outright shit about the driver… all before he even had an interaction with the driver too! Once we got to the flight and on the plane, everything was horrid. Kevin is 6′ 4″ and I am 5′ 11″ so leg room is challenging on flights. The entire flight was nothing but grumping from kevin. The lack of leg room, the TV selections, the food (or lack thereof). When we landed, the rental car took forever and he was rather rude to them. I was embarrassed to say the least. I was in self preservation mode and looked at the floor and said NOTHING until I had had enough. Then I would say to Kevin, “stop being an asshole,” and walk off. We got to the hotel and there was ZERO street parking (go figure in a large metropolitan area) and they wanted $35/night for hotel parking. Instead of sucking it up (we were there 3 nights) and handing over his keys to the valet, he INSISTED we drive around looking for a parking lot without a no parking overnight sign. I was so frustrated! After 40 minutes of driving around downtown Austin, I FINALLY managed to get him to hand over the keys. He went WAY beyond rude and unpleasant when the Valet (who was a seriously nice guy BTW) took the keys. I can’t remember what Kevin said, but the guy’s eyes went wide and to his credit, the valet was the most cordial and not confrontational guy EVER! I allowed Kevin to meander into the hotel while I chatted with the valet about Kevin’s behavior. Told him I would try to be the contact for the car so he didn’t get abused again. The guy understood and I could tell he KNEW Kevin for what he is… Narcissistic asshole.

Once we checked in, we went to walk over and get him registered and get me a ticket (Kevin refused to do it ahead of time). It was a ZOO and I think Kevin actually shut down at this point.. or maybe I did. I enjoyed being back in Austin. I really liked it there and wouldn’t have moved back to California if I hadn’t met Kevin and he hadn’t been recruited by Qualcomm. Day 2 was a bit of Austin exploration and i got a hold of my Sensei and we were to meet up with him for lunch! I was soooo excited. We had to get Kevin a tux while in Austin too because ASSHAT decided not to prebook one for rental.. it ended up being cheaper to BUY one for him! Also, there were ZERO available for rent in the entire county…

To Kevin ‘s credit, he was cordial and pleasant for the entire 2+ hour fitting. We had to leave for a bit while it was hemmed… and we went somewhere (probably an Amy’s Ice Cream) and came back at the appointed hour. Kevin cleans up good… and it was a pleasant afternoon.

So, the absolute kicker of the day of competition was when Kevin went up to be judged. The gal asked him some questions and Kevin stated he probably had the youngest beard at the competition at 4 months of length. Kevin is not only an arrogant shit… but he also has a knack for embarrassing himself in public whilst still being TOTALLY CLUELESS as to the spectacle he makes. She then asked the next 6-7 guys how long they had been growing their beards and SEVERAL said 6-8 weeks and they had longer beards than Kevin! To show just what kind of a narcissistic shit Kevin is, when he got off stage and was talking to me, he made a point of telling someone we were talking to about his being the youngest beard. I CALLED HIS ASS OUT right then and there and said NO you don’t… the next guy after you and several after than ALL have far younger beards that you…weren’t you listening to the commentator??? Kevin was SHOCKED and the look on his face was PRICELESS because he couldn’t contradict me in front of a couple thousand people who all HAD heard the comments after his asinine statement on stage (he didn’t place… one, because he didn’t get his beard groomed even after I had been after him for MONTHS, and 2.. there were some spectacular beards there)! He stuttered and sputtered that no, he hadn’t heard her and he figited something fierce… because he could NOT verbally abuse me or anyone else and he had to take the correction.

I was DONE with his behavior. I couldn’t stand being around him for another couple of days. I made up a story. I was constantly on messenger to a friend who was keeping me sane. So, I told Kevin I had to change my flight and go home early because of some issues at the rescue. OMG!!! You would have thought I was flaying him alive. He was very condescending and stated, I am SURE that someone ELSE can handle whatever it is.” To which I tried very hard not to scream at him, “I am the ONLY person who can handle this because I am the ONLY one LEGALLY allowed to sign the paperwork. I need to go home.” I spent a couple of hours changing my flight and as I was doing all this lying, the gal who had one of the rescue horses on trial contacted me and wanted to adopt him as soon as possible. So I actually, really DID have to go home to get this done! Kevin had to take me to the airport first thing the next morning. It was all I could do not to jump for joy when he dropped me off. I was FREE!!! I left Sunday morning EARLY, got to San Diego, drove home and then packed up the horse and took him to his new home in Rancho Santa Fe area.

Hercules went to a gal who is just wonderful and still keeps in contact with me to this day. She contacted me about a month ago to give me an update. And with this done, I shall say goodnight as it is almost 1900 hours and I NEED my Graham time!

Losses and the Universe Part 2

If you read teh captions in the photos in part 1… you probably surmised that I lost my stallion lost his 6 year battle with lymphangitis and the last 2 years with laminitis. I did NOT have a Celebration of Life for him ahead of time. I was so angry with how Kevin was treating me that I did not tell him it was time for Ronin to go. He told me one morning he was tired and done. His turn out partner Fuego, who’s job it was to make Ronin move (and one both he and Ronin took seriously) suddenly just stood quietly by his side. I had to schedule his appointment and that took a couple of weeks. I made the appointment for a Tuesday because it was pub night and I NEEDED the 3 hours of no world intruding on me. I have a tradition of toasting my departed pets and remembering the good parts of having been a part of their journey. I told a selct few folks… maybe 5 at the most. One of which was Brian.

Ronin’s Memorial Album

This occurred in June 2017 on a day when it was hot, dry, and windy. So, in California, this is a recipe for a fire. Yep. I didn’t check before I left with Ronin and got all the way down the hill to the 8 FWY and it was PANDEMONIUM. It took me 45 minutes just to get 1 mile to turn around and go back through Ramona, into Julian, and down the 78 to the 8 FWY past the fire that closed both sides of the 8 in El Cajon/Crest area. All my well laid plans for crying my eyes out on the drive to Lions & Tigers & Bears went OUT THE WINDOW. I was now in GET IT THE FUCK DONE mode because there is ZERO rescheduling of this particular appointment. I called the facility and told them I was still coming but had to back track and go around the fire so would be delayed. I finally got there almost 2 hours late. The folks at the facility were FABULOUS. I had told them when I scheduled this that it was my last one barring unforeseen circumstances and that this was my personal horse. not one of the rescues. By the time I got him unloaded and watched him walk off with the handler, I was unable to cry it had been so stressful getting there. I took off after paying the $200 cash (if I had the vet do it at home it would have been $350 + $150 for the knacker – DND disposal for the American’s in CA) I drove the trailer home and parked it and took off for the pub.

I have AMAZING friends

Several of my friends came to help celebrate Ronin’s life and Brian;s wife Kim made sure I was never alone all night… so much so that I completely forgot to toast Ronin! My friends and the band were AWESOME. The next month I lost my 18 yo kitten Flamestrike. I say kitten because he and his brother Fireball were born in the tube under my driveway and I caught all of them, mom included (they were Feral) on the 3rd of July 18 years prior. A week after we lost Flamestrike (he had been poorly for about 10 years and was in renal failure), I made the decision to euthanize his brother. Lymphoma was the presumptive diagnosis. I had noticed him loosing weight and he was HUNGRY but not wanting to eat. I had a REALLY hard time with this decision because I was JUST about to go on holiday and I kept thinking, “Am I doing this for convenience?” He was still semi feral even though I had had him since he was about 4 months of age and eve I couldn’t, in all good conscience, medicate the cat. I had tried giving him SQ fluids but it stressed the cat so much that it wasn’t worth it. My friend Lynn Savage agreed with my assessment and she also confirmed we most likely had a case of lymphoma. he problem is, that is a very treatable cancer in cats. But it requires oral medication twice daily. I wouldn’t put him through it. But I felt SOOOOoooooo guilty.

Fireball’s Memorial Album… Sadly, I never did one for Flamestrike

So much death…. Many other things were happening all at the same time too… I had 3 new kittens (in preparation for knowing I was going to lose 3 cats at some point)…. another one of those EPIC stories I will need to go back and do an entire post about) who brought a great deal of joy to my life (well, I got them in Fall of 2016 and Christmas 2016), my rescue continued to close, I went to court about the hoarding case… FINALLY but it was postponed. I was working my arse off at work and getting yelled at there, moved from my private office to a cubicle where another gal sat directly behind me facing my backside (to look over my shoulder and report on what I was doing) and I couldn’t sing (I DID use headphones to listen to my music though). My solace for these deaths was either the pub or La Finquita Winery (or both). I NOT to come to Flamestrike’s appointment for 2 reasons. First off I did NOT want him there. I wanted to GRIEVE. Which meant I wanted to cry my bloody eyes out and not feel like a moron. Second, Kevin doesn’t do death well… and I will leave it at that because to say anything else would be very unkind and I do believe he had some feelings for the animals.

In prep for my EPIC tour of Ireland and Scotland, I took all my personal horses to the rescue so the volunteers taking care of everyone would have an easier time. I had Fiona and her daughter Hannah checking on the home animals (feeding, cleaning, etc.) and it seemed all was in order for a wonderful vacation (holiday for the UK folks). I went to work on my last pre-vacation day and at 1630 I was asked to come to a meeting with Bob. I was uneasy to say the least. Bob and the HR guy sat and read my notice of termination to me. Stating that my posts on social media were the reason I was being let go. I proceeded to tell them that just a few weeks ago, the Supreme Court of the United States had ruled on just this issue and it was ILLEGAL to fire someone for this reason. I was threatened with no severance package and told they WOULD fight my unemployment claim if i didn’t leave quietly. I was of 2 minds… to tell them to go fuck off and I would see them in court.. and not stressing about it because it was a HORRID place to work… (having lost either by firing or voluntary leaving 9 employees in less than 6 months) and I was going to the UK! Instead, I went to the pub and enjoyed some time with the staff as it wasn’t a Highland Way night. I never told Kevin.

A friend sent this to me in Messenger that day…

I finished cleaning my house, taking care of the last minute details, making care lists for the home animals, and packing. And then…. on to Ireland we went…. in another post