Home After Scotland 2017

I cried my eyes out on the plane as we took off for California. It was a rainy, perfect Scottish day and I was leaving my soul behind.

Got home and unpacked, communed with all the animals, caught up with the pet sitters and volunteers at the horse rescue, then tried to get back into the swing of real life. The trip back was beyond unpleasant. Kevin is the epitome of the quintessential jerk of the highest order when traveling and the New York Airport just about had him ready for the asylum. He gets incredibly rude (not that the folks “helping” to get folks through customs were cordial and ready to assist) and then he gets belligerent. I had, LONG ago, started apologizing for his behavior. I stopped doing that in Scotland. Instead, I would wait until Kevin had left whomever he had abused verbally and state to that person, “He’s an asshole, thank you for your assistance.”

Most of the plants in my backyard have died from lack of water. Kevin got really angry and verbally aggressive a couple of years back because of the water bill (mind you, this is a man who makes over $150k/year and is a tight fisted shit). We had a single month water bill of $600 in August (The ONE year I also had a veg garden and it was prolific. I LOVED it but wasn’t allowed to put another in). I had over 30 roses at one point as well as a lot of Amaryllis and Canna lillies. Bearded Iris and all kinds of flowering things as well as water wise salvia, palm trees, sago palms, and a trumpet vine. All dead save for a few roses and some of the cannas and Amaryllis. After a few days a home, we flew out for Labor Day weekend to Austin, Texas (where Kevin and I met) for the International Beard and Mustache Championships (we had gone to one of these in 2007 in Brighton, England with the American Beard and Mustache team!). WHAT A FUCKING NIGHTMARE. Getting up and driving to the airport was absolute silence in the car. So unpleasant. We had to park the car in short term parking and since Kevin FAILED to make a reservation (I wanted to but he gaslighted me into not making one because HE said it wasn’t necessary), they were full. We had to go search for another place and now time was getting short to make it to the plane in time to get through security and such. Found a place and Kevin spent the entire time making up stories about how stupid the attendant was and outright shit about the driver… all before he even had an interaction with the driver too! Once we got to the flight and on the plane, everything was horrid. Kevin is 6′ 4″ and I am 5′ 11″ so leg room is challenging on flights. The entire flight was nothing but grumping from kevin. The lack of leg room, the TV selections, the food (or lack thereof). When we landed, the rental car took forever and he was rather rude to them. I was embarrassed to say the least. I was in self preservation mode and looked at the floor and said NOTHING until I had had enough. Then I would say to Kevin, “stop being an asshole,” and walk off. We got to the hotel and there was ZERO street parking (go figure in a large metropolitan area) and they wanted $35/night for hotel parking. Instead of sucking it up (we were there 3 nights) and handing over his keys to the valet, he INSISTED we drive around looking for a parking lot without a no parking overnight sign. I was so frustrated! After 40 minutes of driving around downtown Austin, I FINALLY managed to get him to hand over the keys. He went WAY beyond rude and unpleasant when the Valet (who was a seriously nice guy BTW) took the keys. I can’t remember what Kevin said, but the guy’s eyes went wide and to his credit, the valet was the most cordial and not confrontational guy EVER! I allowed Kevin to meander into the hotel while I chatted with the valet about Kevin’s behavior. Told him I would try to be the contact for the car so he didn’t get abused again. The guy understood and I could tell he KNEW Kevin for what he is… Narcissistic asshole.

Once we checked in, we went to walk over and get him registered and get me a ticket (Kevin refused to do it ahead of time). It was a ZOO and I think Kevin actually shut down at this point.. or maybe I did. I enjoyed being back in Austin. I really liked it there and wouldn’t have moved back to California if I hadn’t met Kevin and he hadn’t been recruited by Qualcomm. Day 2 was a bit of Austin exploration and i got a hold of my Sensei and we were to meet up with him for lunch! I was soooo excited. We had to get Kevin a tux while in Austin too because ASSHAT decided not to prebook one for rental.. it ended up being cheaper to BUY one for him! Also, there were ZERO available for rent in the entire county…

To Kevin ‘s credit, he was cordial and pleasant for the entire 2+ hour fitting. We had to leave for a bit while it was hemmed… and we went somewhere (probably an Amy’s Ice Cream) and came back at the appointed hour. Kevin cleans up good… and it was a pleasant afternoon.

So, the absolute kicker of the day of competition was when Kevin went up to be judged. The gal asked him some questions and Kevin stated he probably had the youngest beard at the competition at 4 months of length. Kevin is not only an arrogant shit… but he also has a knack for embarrassing himself in public whilst still being TOTALLY CLUELESS as to the spectacle he makes. She then asked the next 6-7 guys how long they had been growing their beards and SEVERAL said 6-8 weeks and they had longer beards than Kevin! To show just what kind of a narcissistic shit Kevin is, when he got off stage and was talking to me, he made a point of telling someone we were talking to about his being the youngest beard. I CALLED HIS ASS OUT right then and there and said NO you don’t… the next guy after you and several after than ALL have far younger beards that you…weren’t you listening to the commentator??? Kevin was SHOCKED and the look on his face was PRICELESS because he couldn’t contradict me in front of a couple thousand people who all HAD heard the comments after his asinine statement on stage (he didn’t place… one, because he didn’t get his beard groomed even after I had been after him for MONTHS, and 2.. there were some spectacular beards there)! He stuttered and sputtered that no, he hadn’t heard her and he figited something fierce… because he could NOT verbally abuse me or anyone else and he had to take the correction.

I was DONE with his behavior. I couldn’t stand being around him for another couple of days. I made up a story. I was constantly on messenger to a friend who was keeping me sane. So, I told Kevin I had to change my flight and go home early because of some issues at the rescue. OMG!!! You would have thought I was flaying him alive. He was very condescending and stated, I am SURE that someone ELSE can handle whatever it is.” To which I tried very hard not to scream at him, “I am the ONLY person who can handle this because I am the ONLY one LEGALLY allowed to sign the paperwork. I need to go home.” I spent a couple of hours changing my flight and as I was doing all this lying, the gal who had one of the rescue horses on trial contacted me and wanted to adopt him as soon as possible. So I actually, really DID have to go home to get this done! Kevin had to take me to the airport first thing the next morning. It was all I could do not to jump for joy when he dropped me off. I was FREE!!! I left Sunday morning EARLY, got to San Diego, drove home and then packed up the horse and took him to his new home in Rancho Santa Fe area.

Hercules went to a gal who is just wonderful and still keeps in contact with me to this day. She contacted me about a month ago to give me an update. And with this done, I shall say goodnight as it is almost 1900 hours and I NEED my Graham time!